Deputy Downer
by Loz06
Summary: Josh prepares himself for an upcoming visit from an Australian politician.


Title: Deputy Downer  
  
Author: Loz.  
  
E-Mail: loz06@yahoo.com.  
  
Rating: G.  
  
Category: Josh/ Donna.  
  
Series: None.  
  
Spoilers: None.  
  
Archive (if applicable): The National Library http://westwingstories.com/library, also http://www.fanfiction.net.  
  
Feedback: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.   
  
Summary: Josh prepares himself for an upcoming visit from an Australian politician.  
  
Author's Notes: This is painfully Australian, it pokes fun at Alexander Downer and other things politically Australian. I'm not sure too many people outside will understand.  
  
Disclaimers: I have no association with: The West Wing; Alexander Downer; The Los Angeles newspaper who once misnamed John Howard as John Hunt; Women's Weekly; The now defunct Midday Show with Kerryann.  
  
*  
  
"Donna I need that stuff on the Australian visitor next week." Josh yells shoving paper across his desk.  
  
"His name is Alexander." Donna appears as if from nowhere.  
  
"Yeah, Alex, whatever." Josh continues searching.  
  
"You won't believe what his last name is."  
  
"After the day I've had try me."  
  
"Downer."  
  
"Uh huh, very funny Donna."  
  
"No I'm serious." She puts holding out the file to him.  
  
"I'm calling him now to find out what his name really is, what's the number?" Josh picks up the handset ignoring the file.  
  
"Ahh, it's 061 02 ..." Josh punches in the numbers as she reads.  
  
"You can't call him now Josh."  
  
"Why not." He listens to the phone connect and start ringing.  
  
"It's 2:30am Saturday morning there, he's asleep."  
  
"How can it be Saturday there already." He puts the phone down.  
  
"I'm not qualified to answer that question." She stands up straighter.  
  
"No jokes about this Donna." He scowls at her.  
  
"Oh come on Josh you two are going to get on great."  
  
"Not a word Donna and when he arrives you make yourself scarce."  
  
"Oh come on Josh."  
  
"You can go shopping or something."  
  
"With your credit card?"  
  
"Don-na!" he whines.  
  
"Ok Josh."  
  
"Who is he again?"  
  
"The foreign minister."  
  
"Like foreign affairs?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
Josh just snorts.  
  
"What now?"  
  
"Nothing, it's just that Australia's foreign policy amounts to keeping refugees from penetrating their borders and asking how high when we say jump."  
  
"Josh!" Donna says astounded.  
  
"Donna!" he mimics back.  
  
"You know what his title would be if he was Deputy Prime Minister to John Hunt?"  
  
"Oh how long have you waited to get this one out?"  
  
"Deputy Downer."  
  
"On second thoughts you can take my credit card." Josh pushes himself in his chair away from his desk.  
  
~*~  
  
"So I've been doing some research." Donna seats herself across the desk from Josh after lunch.  
  
"On what?"  
  
"On Deputy Downer, Deputy Downer."  
  
"Oh so you haven't been doing any work."  
  
"Josh just look at this." She hands him a printed photo.  
  
"He's wearing fishnets and heels." Josh isn't sure how to react.  
  
"That's from a Woman's Weekly magazine."  
  
"I'm meeting with a cross dresser." He puts the photo down.  
  
"And there's this." She slots the tape into the VCR. The Australian foreign minister pops up on screen next to a blonde interviewer.  
  
"This is a lunchtime program."  
  
"So nobody watches it because they're all at work." He mumbles.  
  
"Josh watch this."  
  
"What is he doing?" Josh asks as 'Deputy Downer' stands and starts dancing next to the host.  
  
"The Macarena." Donna says in delight.  
  
"Oh my god what are they on down there, I think they're getting too much sun."  
  
"And there's this." Donna fast-forwards to a news report.  
  
Mr Downer stands on stage in a bad Hawaiian shirt surrounded by Japanese men in suits, singing off key Beach Boys karaoke.  
  
"Donna I think my ears are bleeding."  
  
"Alright Josh."  
  
"Who is this guy, isn't his party embarrassed by him, tell me this isn't how they win elections."  
  
"That last clip was from a trip to Japan."  
  
"Am I meeting with this guy on Big Block of Cheese Day, is he part of that?"  
  
"I don't think so." Donna sifts through the paperwork.  
  
"I really think he should meet with someone else." Josh sighs.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Oh I don't know, maybe a White House image consultant."  
  
"Well I think you could all be a little more relaxed like him and have a little fun." Donna states.  
  
"That's not fun Donna, that's making an idiot of yourself, that's giving your opponents ammunition and loading their guns."  
  
"Well I don't think he looks like a Downer at all."  
  
"What you want to see Leo doing the Macarena, Toby singing karaoke and me in fishnets and heels?"  
  
"Well maybe just the last one." She stands and heads out of his office.  
  
"Take that back." He yells once she has disappeared.  
  
"Sorry?" Donna pokes her head around the doorway.  
  
"Take it back."  
  
"You'd look good in heels Josh."  
  
"Don-na!"  
  
"You could take me to Australia Josh, we could sit on the beaches and say 'G'Day mate' to everyone."  
  
"You have less chance of getting there than to Hawaii." He looks down at the work on his desk.  
  
"When Alex gets here I'm going to ask him to swap names with you and then I'll *have* to call you deputy Downer."  
  
"Goodbye Donna." Josh says dryly.  
  
"Maybe I'll go work for him." She turns her on her heels and stomps out.  
  
* 


End file.
